I was driving with a friend and we were talking about her relationship at the time. As she was sharing her frustrations with her partner some interesting stories arose. Without diving into the details of those particular stories, I am going to dive into the topic of this post, I began to notice as she spoke some interesting beliefs that could be viewed through a different lens of perspective and in a moment I asked her some questions. From this discussion I realised the power of the questions and how they can help us to quickly and simply cut to the core of our belief systems in order for us to reveal any lies we may be telling ourselves and open up to a deeper essence of truth.
We carry so many stories and programs that we have cultivated over years of relationships from childhood, youth and our adult lives. Many of these stories operate unconsciously within our thoughts, emotions and consequent behaviours. If we are choosing to step into realms of change and shift into a new paradigm within our lives, then an awareness of these stories needs to be created. As we begin to observe ourselves by watching our thought processes, recognising the stories or beliefs attached to them and then feeling into whether or not they are true for us and who we choose to be consciously, we begin to open ourselves up to the possibility of allowing the old to fall away and make way for the new. If we continue to recycle the same thoughts and patterns we will continue to create the same experiences and it is ultimately up to us to make the changes so that we can unlock our true potential.
If we are open to this inner exploration we are planting the seed of change deep into our psyche and the more we fertilise the seed with our attentive awareness, the more it begins to grow, pushing through the manure of our old ways bursting forth into the light of our Be~ing bringing with it the e=motion (energy in motion) of an elevated consciousness. We begin to view ourselves, our lives and the world through the lens of compassion, empathy, truth and Love. At first we require patience, as we nurture the inner seed in its process of sprouting beneath the manure and allow it time and space to push through. If we don't have patience, we are likely to turn the soil and disturb it's growth and continue to create more, well, manure, because we are too busy toiling away at the old stories. So what are the questions, you ask?
1. What is this thought or feeling I am experiencing?
As we become aware of our thoughts and feelings we begin to witness them from a different space. The more that we practise this, the less attached we become to them which helps shift us from a space of judgement for ourselves, others and the situation. The more I sat in observation of myself mentally and emotionally the easier it became and I then took my awareness one step further by noticing where in my body the feelings I was experiencing arose. This created a deeper level of awareness, which is a topic for an entirely other post.
2. What is the story or belief that is attached to the thought or feeling?
This one takes a little more self-awareness and inner work as you have to be willing to peel back the layers. Sometimes we will come up with an answer that is merely scratching the surface and stop there thinking that we have it, yet oftentimes there is a deeper story that swims down in the depths of our life experience and the more willing we are to dive a little deeper each time, the more we are truly able to shift the patterns and behaviours that are attached to these stories. I am not, however, suggesting that you dive down into the depths of your psyche if you haven't already done some form of inner work. Every diver needs to train, especially when working on yourself alone.
3. Is this story or belief true?
As we step into this final question it is important to try to be objective and non-attached to the story of our experiences. This can be difficult, especially when we have been shaped through deep trauma and suffering. I know, because I was there and so attached to the victim/survivor story for a long time, wearing them like badges of acknowledgement for all that I had been through in my life. So it is that we look at who we choose to be in our lives and weigh up whether or not this story or belief is in service of this choice. If not, we let it go and do something differently so that we can start to shift the belief and change our story.
Letting go of the attachment to the stories can be so difficult, however, it is the very thing that created my freedom. I held onto the blocks in the wall that I had built around my heart to protect my emotions and dam them up into a safe space, but water when still becomes stagnant. Stagnancy breeds repetition and when there is no movement, well, you're simply swimming in the same fetid waters, sometimes drowning even in the murkiness of suffering.
These 3 questions are so very simple yet direct us straight into truth, and, if we are open to it, into change. We change by recognising what is true for us and then changing the consequent behaviour to something that better aligns with our choices for our lives and for the vision of who we choose to be.
The game of life is, after all, about the choices that we make and our choices are what create the ripple effect of either stagnation or inspired action. When we step into our lives with awareness and observation of all that we are, we truly step into the Magic of Conscious Creation.
Love & Blessings